School Counseling

How Can I Help?

* Listen

* Be honest

* Answer the questions your child asks

* Encourage consistency and routines

* Talk about and remember the person who died

* Encourage your child to be active (going outside to play, taking a walk, riding bikes). This helps channel some of their energy and focus away from the recent traumatic event.

* Support your child even when he/she is in a bad mood

* Acknowledge their feelings. Let them know that it is normal to cry and feel sad.

* Remind your child that they are not alone in their grief.

* Give your child extra time and attention.

What Should I Say?

 * Empathize with your child by saying, “I know it hurts.”

 * Let your child know you care about them. For example, “I want you to know that I care and want to help you in any way that I can.”

 * It’s okay to say “I don’t know” to questions you don’t have answers to.

 * Encourage your child to think of memories he/she had with the deceased person. “(Name) was such a kind friend to you. You had so much fun playing with him/her at recess.”

 What Can I Expect From my Grieving Child?

 * After a death, a common fear of children is that others will die. Reassure them that they are safe and very unlikely to die soon.

 * Some children have difficulty falling asleep at night. Continue any bedtime routines you already have in place. It may also be helpful to stay with your child until he/she falls asleep.

 * Experiencing stomachaches, headaches, or other body pain is often a result of grief in children.

 * It’s not unusual for children to experience difficulty paying attention and concentrating.

Brown, L. K. & M., When Dinosaurs Die: Guide to Understanding Death, Little Brown & Co., 1996

Douglas, E., Rachel and the Upside Down Heart, Price, Stern & Sloan, 1990

Vorst, J., The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, Athenaeum, 1971